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CONTROL Z

August 20, 2008

Tues | AUG 12 The Los Angeles Times covers the FAA investigation

of the supposed failure of "dozens" of oxygen masks during the

emergency landing last week of an American Airlines 757 after a seat was

not returned to its upright locked position. The masks—designed to

allow comfortable oxygen flow up until final impact—may not [...]

Tags: alice cooper, Long Beach, politics, press telegram, saddleback forum

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August 13, 2008

This Week: A Yellow Flag Tues | AUG 5 John McCain and wife visit the planet's largest biker rally

in Sturgis, South Dakota, as part of the candidate's tour to drum up

support for his new energy program—he wants to use it all up—and to make

up for the fact that no one has written a [...]

Tags: dana rohrabacher, georgia, john mccain, long beach museum of art, olympics, russia, sturgis

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August 6, 2008

This Week: The Shops at ChernobylPlace Tues | JULY 29 A 5.4 earthquake—known as a "rehearsal" in geological

jargon—rattles Chino Hills just before noon and reminds the rest of

Southern California once again how lucky they are not to live in Chino

Hills. San Bernardino County officials reported no casualties and little

significant damage, and said [...]

Tags: candide, chernobyl, john mccain, Long Beach, redevlopment

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July 30, 2008

This Week: Purchase and Destroy PHOTO by DANIEL DE BOOM Tues | JULY 22 Who ya gonna run to? Wed | JULY 23 George W. Bush drops the stuffy professorial façade that's

characterized the final months of his presidency and explains the

sub-prime mortgage crisis to an audience at a private Republican

fundraiser: "Wall Street got drunk," he [...]

Tags: acres of books, laura richardson, Long Beach, martian chronicles, President Bush

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July 23, 2008

This Week: Skipper: She-Wolf of the SS Tues | JULY 15 An audit by LA Controller Laura Chick reveals that Los

Angeles is so poorly prepared for large-scale disaster response that it

may already have been destroyed, which, officials added, could have

contributed to a record low-voter turnout. "I do not want the public to

be [...]

Tags: acres of books, Control Z, development, live/work lofts, Long Beach, power pole, she wolf of the ss

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July 16, 2008

This Week: Feral Tenure PHOTO by DANIEL DE BOOM Tues | JULY 8 Mental revenge. Wed | JULY 9 Jesse Jackson mumbles something about cutting Barack

Obama's nuts off into an open Fox News microphone, resulting in a minor

scandal and an automatic offer of an auxiliary anchor position on the

Fox affiliate of his choice. Jackson later [...]

Tags: acres of books, Barack Obama, cal state long beach, cats, fannie mae, feral tenure, freddie mac, indymac, Long Beach

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July 9, 2008

This Week: Several Unpleasant Smells Tues | JULY 1 As summer gas prices continue to rise, the St. Louis

Post-Dispatch reports on a nationwide surge in grave-robbing, spurred by

rising scrap-metal prices and good old-fashioned envy for the dead.

Police admitted that preventing such crime is difficult because

department budgets tend to prioritize the needs of [...]

Tags: Jesse Helms, laura richardson, News, several unpleasant smells, Starbucks, the daily breeze

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July 2, 2008

This Week: Don't go outside Tues | JUNE 24 A Long Beach man calls the cops to serve as witnesses to a

local gas pump claiming to have dispensed seven gallons of gas—at a

total of more than $30—to fill up his five-gallon gas can, shorting him

by about $10. An investigation by the county Department [...]

Tags: Christmas, floods, iran, iraq, Long Beach, muskrats

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June 25, 2008

This Week: Come With Me If You Want To Live Tues | JUNE 17 The city council approves a $100,000 breakwater

reconnaissance study that will detail the possible demolition of the

nation's largest anti-submarine toilet bowl, which could still factor

into national defense if Al Qaeda ever time-travels a Duffy boat back to

1946. The approval [...]

Tags: Aquarium of the Pacific, Arnold Scharzenegger, Long Beach, matthew mcconaughey, offshore drilling, Port of Long Beach

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June 18, 2008

This Week: The Purpose Drive Life, Implausible Genitals and Kevin Bacon Tues | JUNE 10 A Cypress doctor grabs a tire-iron during a confrontation

with a guy who cuts ahead in the gas line during rush hour, resulting

in his arrest for "brandishing a deadly weapon in a rude, angry or

threatening manner," an offense punishable [...]

Tags: implausible genitals, lbma, Long Beach, President Bush, purpose driven life

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